Shame-less Beg for Votes!
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I have hit my all time low of parenting fails today. Yes I know there are just so many you are confused as to which one I am speaking of. It’s not the donuts I use to bribe my kids to go school, it’s not the nights I’m just too tired to face bedtime so I drive them to sleep, it’s not even the 40 minute Thomas video that I put on so I could “rest”.
It’s been a R.O.U.G.H. week. Lil’J has been sick for a straight seven days. I’d say the equivalent of Noah’s 40 days and 40 nights in “mom with sick kids land”. Not just a runny nose, but vomiting, diarrhea, and all that good stuff. This means only one thing to Award Winning Dad and I …NO SLEEP. He wants to be carried all day and all night , and better yet he wants equal carrying time between his Dad and I. God forbid you put him down, he will scream and holler so loud it wakes Big T, and that’s a whole other issue.
Award Winning Dad looks like death, struggling to get dressed in the morning and head out the door for a full day of work. I haven’t showered for three days. I cancelled our regularly scheduled programming for the week, and tried to get through the days without a breakdown with the help of the television (another fail, whomp, whomp).
Last night, just when we thought we were at the end of “the 40 day flood”, Big T decides to join in the fun with a diarrhea episode, along with projectile vomit all over the floor and wall. I wanted to cry (for my sick kid of course). And if that just wasn’t enough excitement for ya’ll, Lil’J awoke three hours and vomited too! Award Winning Dad had to carry him to sleep, and had to hold him sitting up so he could sleep until morning.
Come morning, Lil’J was my worst nightmare x 10. He needed to sleep.
So, I put him in the car and drove him to sleep for a nap. Nothing new for me, until I tried to take him out of the car.
He woke up.
I put him back into his car seat, and drove around again. He fell asleep and as I pulled into the driveway I again feared the “wake up”… so I did what any crazy, desperate, over tired mom would do…
… I sat there.
I opened all the windows of course, unbuckled his seat, and sat in the driver’s seat watching him.
Yes, I know you think I am crazy. What kind of parent would do this? Before you judge me, it was the only thing I could think of. He was tired. I was tired. It’s not like I left him there or put myself in a position to forget him. He slept for an hour and a half. He woke up refreshed and not wanting to be carried. He ate, played, and asked to go to bed tonight.
I am now finishing my fifth load of vomit laundry, and just showered vomit splatter out of my hair. What would you have done?
Award Winning Dad and I accepted a dinner invite from a couple we’ve been friends with for years. The only time we ever see them is at kids birthday parties; theirs, ours, or someone else’s. It was definitely not our usual date, as Award Winning Dad and I rarely do “dates”, and if we do it’s in daylight hours. It was almost exciting to be going out to a restaurant, at night, with another couple, hours of uninterrupted talking, kid-less. Would this actually happen? Dinner was for 8pm!
Here was the plan:
- Take the kids to soccer
- Lunch and Lil’J goes down for a SHORT nap = early bedtime
- We’d push Big T through the day without a nap = early bedtime
- Have dinner, movie night, and off to bed
- They would be asleep before we left, they’ll never know we were out
- My mom would babysit = easy peezy lemon squeezy
What actually happened:
- Lil’J woke up Saturday morning and vomited
- Lil’J skipped soccer and took a two hour nap without lunch
- Lil’J vomited again
- Big T was able to push through the day without a nap BUT…
- As soon as Award Winning Dad put the movie on Big T was out cold by 5:50pm
- Lil’J, cranky as hell, and pasted to Award Winning Dad = no sign of letting go
- My mom arrives
- Big T wakes up at 7pm, mad as hell = no sign letting go
- Finally to the front door almost ready to go, and Big T has an accident (his first in over 4 months)
- Cleaning up pee off the floor, Big T crying from embarrassment, and Lil’J crying because we’re leaving
During Dinner:
- We were late, obviously
- We looked like hot messes when we arrived
- I called home, everyone was calm and happy but still up at 9pm
- Award Winning Dad and I exchanging the “I wondering what’s going on at home” look every so often
- When asked for after dinner drinks, had to decline and dash outta there
So much for the master plan, this is why I have reservations about dinner.
I would choose the boys napping at the same time over chocolate any day.
 This is not a recent story, but one that has been going on for awhile that made my jaw drop enough to create another spot in the Not Winning Mom of the Year Club. May I introduce you to Torry Hansen, a Tennessee mother who sent her 7 year old adopted son back to Russia. She sent him back to Russia on a plane ALONE. She sent him back to Russia alone with a note in his pocket, returning him because he “has severe psychological problems and the orphanage lied about his condition.” So she says.
Yes, you too can pick your jaw up off the floor now.
Hansen, a single mom, and her mother flew to Russia together to adopt 7 year old Artyem. She believes information about his behavioural problems were withheld from her, and was lied to so the orphanage could get rid of him. After six months in America Hansen’s mother drove Artyem to the Washington Airport and placed him on a direct flight back to Moscow. They paid $200 to have a driver pick Artyem up from the Moscow Airport and drive him directly to the Ministry of Education, where they pulled the following note out of his backpack.
“After giving my best to this child, I am sorry to say that for the safety of my family, friends, and myself, I no longer wish to parent this child. As he is a Russian National, I am returning him to your guardianship and would like the adoption disannulled. “
As an investigation is pending in Tennessee for Torry and her mother for child abuse, endangering the welfare of a child, and education neglect (he was not registered for school or home school), it will be hard to confirm the details of Artyem’s time in America as US Officials cannot question him now that he is back in Russia, therefore a dismissed case. Even better, a number of tests and psychiatric reviews showed no psychological or behavioural problems existed, just a terribly traumatized now 8 year old boy back in the care of an orphanage.
There are all sorts of wrong here in this story, and I could vent my anger for pages and pages not only about Torry Hansen’s “mothering”, but to the State of Tennessee, the adoption process Torry used, the airline that flew this 7 year old boy, etc, etc, etc!!!!!
But let’s leave all that and let me make your jaw drop one more time. Torry Hansen is in the process of trying to adopt from Russia again… yes! Welcome to the Club Torry.
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