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Dear Dina,

Now I know it would be beyond hypocritical of me to offer some “mom” advice to another mom, seeing as I am lucky to have my children changed, fed, and unharmed by bedtime. However with Dina Lohan, I just cannot hold back. What is going on with her daughter?  It is clear that Lilo has some serious problems, though I do not believe all of this is a result of this fabulous celebrity life she leads. I am thinking a lot of Lindsay’s issues started from childhood, and so I write to Dina Lohan with “all” my “expertise”.

1. That’s your baby daddy. I can see how Michael Lohan would leave any woman weak in the knees, I mean look at him. Not sure if it was the whole convicted criminal appeal, but after these offenses having more than two children with him doesn’t seem like a great idea. Anyone?  The latest incident of abusing his former girlfriend, then twelve hours after being released tried to escape the police by jumping from his hotel window onto a tree, breaking his foot, just doesn’t seem like good “dad material” to me.

2. Brushing twice a day, keeps the dentist away. What’s up with Lindsay’s teeth? It’s not like toothpaste is that expensive or hard to get. It comes free in all those hotels she lives in. At our house, we sometimes use a song or different flavoured toothpaste to keep things interesting, but with the deep pockets you all have a great smile shouldn’t be hard to buy find.

3. A family that drinks together is linked together. I guess I have to state the obvious here, but,  if – your – daughter – has – a – drinking – problem, – sharing – a – bottle – of – wine – for – lunch – may – not – be – helping – the – issue. Nuff said.

4. Better never than late. This confuses me since she is not driving the black, tinted window Escalade she arrived in, or applied her own make-up or F word manicure. It’s clear she often skips good dental hygiene, so what’s the delay? Could it have been the liquid lunch you both shared the day before court that has her all in a haze of what time she needs to be in court? Anyone?

5. A promise is a promise. If you say you are going to be somewhere or do something, keep your word. This would include, however is not limited to showing up to a movie set to “act”, since they are paying her something in the millions, and not to mention your ten percent.  Another would be a scheduled appointment with a judge, or a probation officer, or her sentenced community work, since her freedom depends on it.

From one non award winning mom to another, good luck my friend.

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8 comments to Dear Dina,

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