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10 Already Failed New Year Resolutions

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10. Floss. This has been on the New Year Resolution list for the last five years, and it always starts off really good for the first five days and then….

9. Learn a new language. This has been on my list for two years, and although I chose two different languages I only learned how to say names of desserts in that language…which is a whole other resolution on its own.

8. Being prepared ahead of time. I would say I have this one about 50% licked, but there are still times I am preparing dinner while the rest of my family is eating, or packing backpacks while Award Winning Dad has the boys in the car to go to school.

7. Wearing a watch. I have a major problem with having to know the time. Compound this problem with waking up in the middle of the night to check the time, counting the minutes I wait in line, guilt with how many minutes I’m late, bitching about the minutes someone else is late, and so on. This resolution should result in a subsequent resolution to find a therapist next year.

6. Exercise. With just delivering The Boss Man, this should be top priority on the Resolution list, but this cold, baggy sweater weather just doesn’t motivate me in any way. To be quite honest breastfeeding makes me a hungry hippo with visits to my boys Halloween stash in the middle of the night, when I get up to check the time of course.

5. Eat healthy. See above resolution for exercise.

4. Take more photos. I’m the only mom that does not shove a camera into my children’s faces at every blink. I always have an excuse NOT take a picture….especially if I have to be in it. It’s awful I know.

3. Fold a fitted sheet the Martha way. If you know me, this shouldn’t be a surprise, and if you know how to fold a fitted fit… I hate you!

2. Cross off ongoing To Do’s. I am a list-o-holic, and have an ongoing list on my iPhone with some items that have been on there for years. For example, organize pictures on the computer, which my lack of desire to take pictures would make this an easy task that never gets done. Another is to clean out my closet, which also should be an easy task considering I have been wearing maternity clothes for the last five years…

1. Blog more. This blog allows me to unload all the nonsense in my brain for you to judge me in the worst way. Yes, just as you thought my “mothering” couldn’t get any worse, you cannot imagine how much gets missed and undocumented due to the lack of time I have pretending to ” mom” my kids.

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