I read more than my pregnant weight in parenting books before Big T was born, hoping to find that one book that had the answer on how to do this parenting thing and have my kid come out perfectly. Since I haven’t found that gem yet I, three kids later, am still reading parenting books. They cover everything from birth to colic, night feeding to starting solids, but there is one huge part of child rearing that I have yet read about; poop, sh*t, excrement, BM, whatever you wanna call it, it runs my life.
I could literally write a novel about how poop controls everything over here; what we wear, where we go, when we go, what we eat, what we need to take, etc. etc. It surprises me that I waited so long to pen this glaring part of my child rearing experience so far, but this week has been high alert on the poop-o-meter and all I could think was… here we go again.
Big T had terrible poop issues when he was just months old. He would go days without going and struggled. Fast forward almost five years later he is fully potty trained and will go anytime, any place. We went to a friend’s place on Tuesday and he had to go there, and the next day at a person’s house whom he had just met. He always yells out “Poop” and dashes to the washroom, all sorts of noise and commotion with his cushy potty seat we travel everywhere with, and it all ends with the announcement “Donnnnne!”. For us it’s normal, but to the folks whose homes we are at, and bathrooms we are in, complete horror. Be prepared for poop 24 hours a day.
Lil’J, who made us work harder than I have ever had to work in my life to get him to poop in the potty, has us on pins and needles from the moment we get up in the morning until he poops that day. This week he has camp every day, so Award Winning Dad literally has him trying first thing in the morning until we are literally backing out of the driveway. Being new to poop being flushed away as opposed to the luxury of me wiping up his man poop while he watches TV, I am not sure if he would suffer from some sort of bathroom/poop anxiety having to poop at school, so again we let this his poop run our day.
Lastly, The Boss Man had his first poop issue this week being “backed up” and growing crankier as each day passed. By day three he was not nursing, eating, or sleeping, all of which DIRECTLY AFFECTED ME and my ability to be on top of his older brothers and their poop schedules and needs. Yeah me! He was trying so hard on day three he had beads of sweat rolling down the sides of his face. Award Winning Dad couldn’t stand by and watch any longer so he fed him water from a bowl and baby spoon hoping that would help move things along. It did, and after I changed him and played happily for 30 minutes, nursed like he had been in the desert all day, and slept for most of the night. It’s only the beginning.
Whyyyyy? Whhhyyy? It’s like I pissed off the poop God’s or something… no pun intended. I look forward to going back to the world where people had to go, quietly went, and never spoke about it. What happened to that? You know, when people are so hush hush about their poop you can’t even imagine that they do poop? I dream.