9. Criticism of any kind is not welcome and it’s detrimental to your well being
8. I am feeling gross, hate the way I look, and could sleep for a decade… don’t touch me!
7. Be the bouncer at the club; be selective of who comes in and how long they will stay.
6. Don’t be jealous, I had a nine month head start on bonding with this little person.
5. Expect the unexpected; just when you feel like you have a routine in place it will change, now is not the time to get cocky!
4. Don’t ever ask the following: Are these clean? What’s for dinner? What did you do all day?
3. Please tell me you love me. I mean, I know you do, but say it for goodness sakes!
2. You are not the back-up parent, if the baby wakes up, cries, needs to be fed, carried whatever… Daddy Up!
1. I don’t give a rat’s ass what your mother did and how well she did it!
Congratulations Dad, this is gonna be awesome!