If you are a mom of boys or are expecting one, congratulations! This is awesome news, and as a mom of three boys I consider myself quite knowledgeable in this area and feel compelled to share unsolicited advice on raising boys. Please do not confuse knowledgeable with expert parenting, or success in raising boys, that of which I am neither. Let’s continue shall we!
Stick to the toy basics
I learned quickly that all that time wasted on selecting the perfect learning toy, one that would stimulate brain growth, curiosity, creativity, blah, blah, blah is time I would never get back. Boys, no matter what, will always want to fight, play swords/guns/ lasers, climb anything they can, play with cars and Lego, dirt, rocks, twigs, and snow. You will stare at the piles of toys that clutter your home only to watch them enjoy hours of entertainment with the empty wrapping paper roll you just threw in the trash.
Become one with your bathroom
There is a fine art to cleaning your “boys bathroom” that no one ever shared. It’s disgusting in there; the smell is indescribable. Their inability to aim into the toilet leaves the toilet bowl, floor, and sometimes walls textured with a hint of yellow. The soap scum in the tub and grime of their tiny bodies is that of bathing barn animals every night. The hardened toothpaste in the sink and on the countertop is like beginner graffiti, fingerprints, soap, and random underwear in the corner.
Dressing made simple
On the flip side of tackling the boy’s bathroom, clothing selecting is a breeze. They will likely wear anything you select, and never fuss about color, style, or whose wearing what. In fact, having all boys has been a huge time and money saver, though my youngest always looks a little worn in his hand me downs.
Sounds of the human body
Without fail in a silent room some will make a farting or burping noise and the three of them go crazy. Farting sounds, pooping sounds, and burping are always funny to them, and somehow never get old. No matter how much we try to instil these sounds are rude, inappropriate, or disgusting they think it’s funny as hell, and let me not forget bubbles in the milk, showing food in their mouths, and playing with spit. I have given up fighting this gross battle.
With a little extra push… they will talk
“How was school today?”
“What did you do?”
“How was your book?”
“What did you read about?”
If I were to ask if aliens came down and they both ate lunch on a spaceship, I’d likely be met with “it was fine”, but it’s not you. With a little push, they will open up and talk about all events of the day, everything going on, and what’s next. To be honest, I’ve pushed and sometimes they won’t stop talking. *eye roll* I used to worry they didn’t want to talk to me, but I’ve learned with a little extra push, they’ll talk!
There you have it, my top tips to moms of boys! I hoped my next post would have been their cleaning their own bathrooms, dressing themselves, and are past fart sounds, but I’m married so I already know how that turns out.