If My Kids School Gave Me A Report Card

If my children’s school were to give me a report card based on what they see and know of me it would be a disgrace. It’s not for lack of trying, I am certain I would get an A+ for effort, it’s just I am more times than not a dishevelled mess when it comes to all things school. Being on Time : I try my hardest, well most days I do but no matter how much night before planning I do, I cannot get the kids in the car and off to school on time. Yes, there is the incessant tidying I am always … [Read more...]

FBF: The Truth?

  Do you use your kids as excuses? Admittedly, I do. It was funny to look back at a post I wrote five years ago with the actual lies excuses I used to literally throw my kids under the bus. Truth? I still use them now. Enjoy! … [Read more...]

Why I Didn’t Move My Child Into Kindergarten

This month The Boss Man was supposed to move into “kindergarten”. I say that because in our school, although he is not four years old yet, they group children from ages 3-5 into the Pre-K, Junior K, and Senior K classes all together. If it sounds confusing, it is, trust me. His teacher has always been very agreeable and understanding with everything, but of course she was curious as to why we would not move him on. To this I had a number of reasons, mostly selfish but all in all made enough … [Read more...]

Things That Should Stay In 2015

10. Kimye. Honestly enough with these two bozos   9. Selfie Sticks. I am proud to say I have never owned one, but who really needs that perfect distance shot, and if you do need it that badly then you can’t be in the picture.   8. Teen Mom. Now I love watching the drama mamas of Real Houswives, Bachelor’s, and couples in distress, but something about watching the drama of teens with kids bugs me. Why are we glorifying the messed of lives of these girls?   7. Mom … [Read more...]

Don’t Think And Drive

I almost ran a red light, it if wasn’t for an oncoming city bus horn and other random horns behind me that snapped me out of my…my…To Do list. Yep, that’s right, I imagine you’re thinking I was texting, talking on the phone, slightly drunk in the middle of the day, or in a micro sleep. But no, I was thinking… thinking really hard about my To Do list. Yes, officer I have a lot of things on my mind none of which involve following the correct rules of the road and because of my insanely large To … [Read more...]

10 Things Every New Dad Should Know

10. Unless it’s breastfeeding our child, everything else is fair game… roll up your sleeves and Daddy Up!   9. Criticism of any kind is not welcome and it’s detrimental to your well being   8. I am feeling gross, hate the way I look, and could sleep for a decade… don’t touch me!   7. Be the bouncer at the club; be selective of who comes in and how long they will stay.   6. Don’t be jealous, I had a nine month head start on bonding with this little … [Read more...]

My Kids School Is A Full Time Job

Our school is a full-time job for me! Don’t get me wrong I love my children’s school, especially their teachers but honestly I’m finding it hard to keep up with all the extra things going aside from managing their day to day schedules of getting them to and from school every day, lunch, who has gym, show and tell, art class, before school choir, etc, etc. So what could be going on in addition to all of this you ask? The first week of school is already gong show, but of course we have the … [Read more...]

2015 Holiday Wish List

So now that Gwyneth and Oprah have their 2016 holiday gift guides out, I thought it’s about time for mine. I mean what do moms really want this Christmas? Here is my Christmas Wish List, I am certain there is something for every mom here... Another purse? Not just any purse, one that can me hydrated all day long and hold all my kids shit. Lego Slippers, because I only have 485320532 pieces of Lego all over my house, this would make that somewhat bearable. Even though I only … [Read more...]

FBF: Bye Grandpa!

One of the reasons I started blogging was to record all the happenings in my life with my children. Somehow I hadn’t had the desire to hang onto all sorts of random memories until I had children and who knew that step was merely a toe in the water compared to the type of memory keeping we do now.  Now we are recording their every word and step via Instagram, Twitter , Snapchat and You Tube. [insert shameless plug here] Find us at @notawinningmom .  If you are not following us there, something is … [Read more...]

6 Reasons Why I’m Not Potty Training

I was certainly on a high after potty training Big T! Three days, easy peazy, I thought I was it! Three years later, my cocky attitude in tow I attempted an encore performance for Lil J which was met with the complete opposite experience.  Three days turned into nine months,  tears, threats, anger and completed deflated, it was a struggle… oh yeah a struggle for him too. Our school is pressuring me to train The Boss Man, who is almost three, therefore not three, hence not yet in the “I cannot … [Read more...]